Hi. I picked up the guitar today and tried to play songs I used to do back when I was still in high school. Hehehe.

I then realized i suck.

badtrip

hi! wala lang.

i don't know what to do. i don't want to feel this hurt anymore. is this my karma? i hope so... para matapos na. this is the worst i've felt in my entire life! and guess what, i didn't even cry. (at least for now) i know i have done things in the past. pretty bad things. and i never knew it would hurt this much. masakit pala. sobrang sakit. sobrang hirap. makes me wanna kill myself. it really hurts so much! can't stress that enough. ito yung feeling na wala na akong pakialam sa ibang tao, kung ano isipin nila, kung ano mararamdaman nila. i deserve to be happy right? i mean everyone does. but life really is unfair. (or not, kasi karma nga ito)

im mad! mad at myself, it's all my fault, you know. it's just like chain reaction.

i'm sad. i've never been sad like this before. i can't even sleep.

i'm kinda happy though. some people have good hearts. good intentions.

if i'm gonna wish for one thing, i'd wish that i have control over people's feelings and emotions. that would be great. ahhh peace... but that's not possible. this world's a jungle! socially, financially, and even emotionally. i should be strong! decisions should be made. wise ones! what's good about my situation here is that, it made me pray. as in really pray. and praying helped me in choosing the right decisions. when faced with a fork in the road, there's indecisiveness, then impulse prevails. but when you let someone guide you, then expect paradise at the end of that path.

i'm sad, i'm angry, i'm hurting so much, but i know i'm strong enough! i can go through all of these. trust me, because i trust Him.

sorry kung madrama, pero ganun talaga. parang basketball lang yan e. it's like facing a really tough opponent and i know i'm gonna lose. then in the middle of the game my opponent began to pour it on, i don't know what to do. will i just let it be, or bring on a fighting stand? and then i choose to give my all, even if i know i'd lose anyway. well, guess what...i lost by a point. narealize ko mas masakit pala yung ganong pagkatalo.

black gold black white!

Kasiya-siya and pag-uulat ko kahapon tungkol kay Ginoong Lawrence Kohlberg. Tunay na pinaghirapan ko ito at natuwa naman ang aking mga kamag-aral, lalo na sa patawa kong "bambini". Kinulayan ko pa ng mga kumikinang-kinang na "outline" ang mga titik na isinulat ko sa puting papel. Napakapogi pa niya sa larawang iginuhit ng aking nakababatang kapatid na babae. Hindi ito pangkaraniwang pag-uulat na ginawa ko sa kadahilanang  kinakailangan lamang gawin. Ginawa ko ito dahil gusto ko talaga. Napapangiti talaga ako sa tuwing naaalala ko ang buhay at ang mga nagawa ni G. Kohlberg. Isa siyang kahanga-hangang intelektwal. Totoo kaya? Pupwede kaya? Tila napalapit na siya sa puso ko.

NGUNIT.. Mayroon akong nararamdamang parang malaking butas sa puso ko.. Malaki na ang pangungulila ko kay.. Kapitan Falcon. Oo, isa lamang siyang tauhan sa paborito kong laro sa Gamecube, pero marami na talaga kaming pinagdaanan. Kahit na minsan ay pinagpapalit ko siya sa isang maliit na dinosaur, o minsan sa baseball player, hindi nila kayang pantayan ang pagtingin ko kay Kapitan Falcon. Magkasama naming hinarap ang iba't ibang klase ng mga kaaway sa iba't ibang dako at sulok ng buong kalawakan, magkasama kaming nakipag-bet sa mga inakalang kaya nila kaming talunin.. Magkasama kaming namamatay at nabubuhay muli. Miss na miss ko na siya. O, Falcon Punch...

Nangungulila rin ako sa tuwing kumakain ako ng kanin mag-isa. :(

am i really sick? i don't think so. i mean this is what i want and i'm gona get it!

three times na ako tumae ngayong araw, pero natatae nanaman ako. ngayon pa na tig one serving lang kinain ko per meal. grabe. hehe pero in fairness, masarap magpigil ng tae, lalu na pag alam mong nandyan lang yung banyo.

what can i say about the playoffs. no surprises so far. last year's postseason was so great that this year couldn't match up.

1st round: the only thing that caught my attention was when the bulls swept the heat. what happened to the world champs? i mean miami has wade, shaq, a veteran supporting cast, one of the greatest coaches in basketball history, and to top it all, they're oozing with so much confidence. i knew chicago would win, but a sweep? no one could have guessed except kirk, ben and company.
headline: warriors beat mavericks convincingly. excuse me but hasn't the golden state brutally stabbed the heart of texas consistently dating back last season? no surprises here.
the detroit orlando series sweep was expected. no buzz there. nash beats kobe, spurs' D over nuggets' duo, no big deal.
the utah houston series would have been the most exciting. but sorry jazz and rockets fans, your teams are those of the less popular ones. boozer, okur? nah...maybe when derron plays like baron, i'll watch your games. t-mac, yao? no appeal at all.
i would have wanted toronto and sam mitchell to advance to the semis by scoring an upset and beating the nets but kidd, carter and RJ are way too experienced. too bad, 'cause as a cavs fan, i'm worried about the troubles new jersey has given lebron and co. in the past. don't get me wrong, toronto is a strong team, but the nets have mr. triple-double. and i think they're peaking at the right time, even without the ilocano nenad kristic in the lineup.
finally, cavs cavs cavs...how disappointing! last year's meeting with the wizards was so exciting. king james' debut triple-double, 3 games decided by just 1 point, buzzer beaters and clutch shots by gilbert, controversial non-calls on lebron, overtime games...can't ask for more. but this year? as i said, disappointing. i am a cleveland cavaliers fan since 1992. mark price, craig ehlo, hot rod williams, larry nance, brad daugherty, ron harper, terell brandon. those were the glory days. this cavs team is also a special one. main reason: it has lebron james. but cleveland showed it isn't a one-man team after all, but just a two-man alternating team?? lebron got help from larry hughes game1, drew gooden game2, big Z the next 2. i mean, can't they just contribute all at the same time? yes, bringing out the broom was expected of them. the wizards were without their two allstars, for pete's sake! aren't they supposed to blow out antawn and co. in all the four games? as steve kerr said, the cavs have mastered the art of doing just enough to beat their opponents. and this fact saddens me. hope to see improvements soon!

anyway, see you all in the 2nd round! go cavs! go warriors! i always go for the underdogs...